These past days have been okay. I’d like to think that I’ve been okay. Kind of.
Anyway, vacations are over. I’d like to share a few things that I’ve noticed and learned in these past 61 days.
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Before these holidays, I always felt like I was lonely and depressed and it got to the point where I forced myself to believe that I’m content with it. But I wasn’t. Of course I wasn’t. It is in fact true, that we – at certain times prefer our own company. There are times when you do not want to be around people. And it’s okay, but then there are those times when you want nothing more than to be around your friends. You want to be around people who’ll understand, who know and who care.
Those who will hear you out, and then slap you for forgiving that dude that cheated on you. Those people who will make you try on dresses for a party and then narrow their eyes and shake their head when they don’t do your beautiful body justice. People who won’t laugh on your jokes because “you’re the lamest person I know”. The people who won’t care if you haven’t showered, if you have acne, if you’re gaining too much weight (they’d still eat pizza with you). The people who are not around every week but you know you cross their mind everyday, because you are a major part of their lives and they are a part of yours, and in that moment you know, you’re not alone, that you’re all in it together, even if you’re oceans apart, you’re there for them and they’re here for you.
A person doesn’t always have to take a bullet for you to show you that they give a shit. The simplest and smallest things – a single line, a text message, a phone call, a gift – mean much more than we give them credit for.
Long paragraphs telling you to stay strong, being there in a blink because you cried over the phone, things like these have “I CARE. I’M HERE.” written all over them, but then so do simple things we say subconsciously everyday;
“Watch your step.”
“Get some rest.”
“Did you take your meds?”
“Did you eat?”
“Do you want something to drink?”
“There’s something on your shirt.”
“Come here, give me a hug.”
These words and phrases mean much more than we think they do, love is all around – we just have to open our minds to it and let it in.
Sometimes we get so engrossed by sadness and that feeling of betrayal, or being left out, or being alone, or not being good enough – that we subconsciously ignore those things around us, that make us who we are, that give us a reason to be alive, the things that make life worth it.
Notice them, cherish them. Spend time with those people that make you feel alive, who make you feel like you really do deserve to be here, who remind you that you’re worth it, that you’re good enough. They are the people who make your time here on earth worth it, not the ones who try to put you down.
As much as there are good people on this planet, it’s filled with assholes on every corner who’ll try to push you down and crush you and make you feel worthless. The key is to not let them win. You’re in it for you, not to please them who wouldn’t give two shits if you were gone tomorrow.
Always remember: you were given this life because you deserve it and are strong enough to live it.